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Wedding Policy...
We welcome your inquiry concerning marriage at The Episcopal Church of the Epiphany. This brochure presents our policies and procedures for a wedding in the sacramental tradition. You are encouraged to read it carefully, and if you have questions you are invited to call the parish office at 404.373.8338.
Christian marriage is a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman entered into in the presence of God and lived out in the support of a community of faith.
A Christian marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman formed and lived out in God's presence and in the discernment of God's will. The wedding ceremony is the liturgical expression of that relationship. The wedding is a worship service of joy and thanksgiving which includes the public exchange of vows and the proclamation of God's blessing. The Book of Common Prayer states, "Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God."
It is clearly the intent of both the Prayer Book and the canons of the Church that marriages solemnized in the Church continue to be nurtured within the community of the Church. Marriage is not something that happens at one particular moment or something God is invited to attend; it is a lifelong process.
Those who come to the Church seeking God's blessing on their relationship should do so with a clear intention of maintaining an active participation in the life of the Church. While there may be extenuating circumstances, it should be considered normative that a marriage take place where the couple intends to worship.
The Church's Laws Concerning Holy Matrimony
The Episcopal Church requires that at least one of the parties be a baptized Christian, that the ceremony be attested to by at least two witnesses, and that the marriage conform to the laws of the State and the canons of this Church.
At Epiphany, it is customary that at least one of the parties be a member in good standing of this parish, or the son, daughter, or parent of a member in good standing. Candidates for Holy Matrimony must be a member at Epiphany for one year before the ceremony can take place. All weddings are scheduled at the discretion of the rector.
Before any couple can be married by an Episcopal priest or in an Episcopal church, they must sign the following declaration, which states the nature of a Christian marriage:
"We,
______________________________
and
______________________________
desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in The Book of Common Prayer.
We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their physical and spiritual nurture, and we do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God's help thereto."Premarital Instructions
The Episcopal Church requires preparation for marriage, generally referred to as "premarital counseling." Because the needs of individual couples will vary, the time required for premarital counseling would be adjusted to meet those needs. A minimum of three sessions, with both the bride and the groom present, is expected. Additional attendance at a daylong premarital workshop may be required. Fees for the workshop vary.
In situations in which the bride and/or the groom are living out of town, it is usually possible to make arrangements for counseling to be done by an Episcopal priest elsewhere. Those arrangements need to be made as early as possible with the officiating priest. A written evaluation from the priest who has conducted the counseling will be needed.
No announcement of the wedding should be made, nor invitations mailed, until final approval of the mMarriage After Divorce
Canon Law prohibits clergy from solemnizing the marriage of anyone who has been divorced, except with the consent of the bishop. The guidelines of Epiphany and of the Diocese of Atlanta establish the norm of one year from the date of the final decree of divorce for remarriage in the Church. The bishop, in his guidelines for the clergy, states, "the great and real need for time for a divorced person to work through the 'death' of the former marriage; the grief, forgiveness and learning from past experience, both secular and religious, is generally a year."
In this diocese the bishop has requested thirty (30) days in which to respond to the priest's request to solemnize the marriage. The couple must, therefore, have had several counseling sessions and given the priest photocopies of their divorce decree(s) no later than forty-five (45) days before the wedding date.
The Marriage License
It is required that the parties wishing to marry comply with all the laws of the State of Georgia. Such compliance is indicated to the officiating priest by the presentation of a marriage license. The license is issued by the County Marriage License Bureau located in the county courthouse or the county office building. The license should be issued in the county where the bride resides. If both applicants are from out of state, the license must be issued in DeKalb County.
It is recommended that the marriage license be brought to the Church office the Sunday prior to the wedding. The priest cannot officiate without the license. The priest will sign and mail the license after the wedding.
Date & Time of the Wedding
A wedding at Epiphany involves the participation of many church staff and volunteers; therefore, adequate advance notice is essential. The couple will want to talk with a priest and make arrangements as far in advance as possible in order to reduce scheduling difficulties. Planning several months in advance is the norm.
Weddings are customarily held on Saturdays, with the time of the ceremony between 10 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. If there is more than one wedding in the church on a given date, they must be at least four hours apart. Dates and times are scheduled on a first-come first-served basis.
We do not schedule weddings on Sundays, during Lent and Holy Week except in extraordinary circumstances.
The Altar Guild
The Altar Guild is charged with the responsibility of assisting the officiating priest with all arrangements for the wedding. The Altar Guild will be present at both the rehearsal and the wedding to assist and support the wedding party and to insure the smooth flow of the service itself. A celebration of marriage is one of the sacraments of our church and service must be conducted according to the policies and procedures of the Episcopal Church; therefore, outside bridal consultants are not permitted to direct the rehearsal or the wedding ceremony. This assistance will be provided by a member of the Altar Guild. An Altar Guild wedding information form should be completed by the couple well in advance of the wedding date.
The Rehearsal
The purpose of the wedding rehearsal is to give the wedding party the opportunity to become familiar with the service ahead which will enable them to be at ease during the worship service. The bride and groom will participate fully in the rehearsal. The officiating priest, assisted by the Altar Guild, will be responsible for the actual conduct of the rehearsal.
Wedding rehearsals are normally held on the day before the wedding. Except in extremely unusual circumstances, rehearsals will not be scheduled to begin after 6 p.m. The rehearsal will take about an hour. The entire service, including ushering in of relatives and the entrance procession, will be rehearsed. Therefore, it is important for all members of the wedding party to attend and for everyone to be on time. The clergy and assisting members of the altar guild are only expected to be in attendance at the rehearsal for one hour.
There is a deposit of $100.00 for the rehearsal, to be delivered the Sunday before the wedding. If the rehearsal begins more than fifteen (15) minutes past the scheduled time, the deposit will be forfeited. In order to avoid possible delays, any rehearsal dinner should be scheduled for after the rehearsal.
The Marriage Service
Marriage is a sacrament of the Church and takes place in the context of worship. As in every service of the Church, the priest is charged by Canon Law with the final responsibility for determining the appropriateness of all arrangements and details.The Clergy. All ceremonies at Epiphany are conducted by an Epiphany priest. At the couple's request, the priest may invite an Episcopal priest from another parish, or diocese, a clergy person from another denomination to assist in the ceremony. The officiating priest must be notified of any desire to include other clergy.
The Liturgy. The Episcopal Church is a liturgical church, and, as such, worship services are defined by The Book of Common Prayer, and normally include a liturgical procession, with a crucifer leading the wedding party and clergy.
The Communion. Since the marriage service is a worship service involving the whole congregation, a celebration of the Holy Eucharist is usually included. In fact, The Book of Common Prayer service of Holy Matrimony is written within the context of the Holy Eucharist. (The decision to have the Eucharist will be made by the couple with the advice and counsel of the officiating priest.) When the Holy Eucharist is celebrated as a part of the marriage ceremony, all baptized Christians will be invited to share in this sacrament of unity.
Lay Eucharistic Ministers. Licensed Eucharistic ministers from Epiphany or other parishes are welcome to assist. Requests for particular individuals to assist should be made to the officiating priest.
Readers. It is desirable that the Lessons from the Old Testament and the Epistles be read by lay persons. They may practice the readings at the rehearsal.Acolytes. Family and friends who have been trained as acolytes are welcome to serve in this capacity. If Epiphany acolytes serve for the couple, it is customary to make a small donation to them.
The Wedding Music
The bride and groom must contact Epiphany's Organist and Choirmaster for a music consultation at least six (6) to eight (8) weeks before the wedding. He will assist you in the selection of music for the organ, and congregational or choral singing * and can supply a list of additional instrumentalists, if desired.
The Organist and Choirmaster will play at all weddings with music. There is a fee for his services. Musicians in addition to the Organist and Choirmaster are welcome to participate in the service. However, they and their music selections must be approved by the Organist and Choirmaster.
In keeping with the understanding of the wedding as a sacrament of the Church, music selection is limited to sacred music. Music that does not have as its chief end the glorification and praise of God, including the melody from Wagner's Lohengrin known as the "Bridal Chorus," is not to be used and may best be left for the reception. Music is provided only at those points in the service designated by the rubrics in the Prayer Book. The Lord's Prayer is a common prayer of the Church and is to be said or sung by the congregation.
*Epiphany's choirs are available to add to the beauty and joy of the ceremony. Early notice is necessary in order to make these arrangements. There is an additional fee for this service.
Decoration of the Church
The general principle to keep in mind is that a wedding is a worship service in which we seek to worship God with beauty and simplicity. Extravagant decorations are not necessary to create an atmosphere of joy and celebration.The Flowers. The only flowers permitted at a wedding are two vases of altar flowers (such as those arranged by the Flower Guild every weekend for Sunday services). Couples may provide their own flowers if they wish. The arrangements and flowers to be used must be coordinated with the Flower Guild and within the guidelines of Epiphany. If a florist is used, there is no payment to the church. However, if the Flower Guild is responsible, a minimum fee of $150.00 is charged. Couples are welcome to supplement that fee as their budgets permit in order to get a suitable arrangement you. When two or more weddings are scheduled for the same day it is highly recommended that the flowers be coordinated so that unnecessary expense may be avoided.
It is expected that the wedding flowers are the property of the church, and they will remain in the Church for worship services on the following Sunday. The Sunday bulletin will identify the flowers as given in thanksgiving for the marriage. After services, they will then be delivered to the sick and shut-in.
The couple should contact the parish office for the name and number of the Flower Guild member who will be assisting as soon as a date is established with the clergy. The Flower Guild member will then go over all the size and placement options, as well as any additional instructions, if a florist is to be used.
The Altar & Aisle. The liturgical color for a wedding is white, the color of joy and celebration. TheAltar Guild will prepare the altar with a cream and tapestry festive frontal or leave the white marble uncovered. (The color of the altar flowers is not restricted.) Pew markers may be supplied by a florist or the church will supply tapestry ribbons if desired. Altar candles and ambo torches are the only candles used. Extra candelabra or unity candles will not be a part of the ceremony. Aisle runners are hazardous and are not permitted.
Photography
While the Church is sensitive to the desire of the bride and groom to preserve this important moment in their lives, it is also concerned that the dignity and reverence of the service be maintained, and that family and friends' experience of worship not be compromised. The cooperation of the bride, the groom and the entire wedding party is sought and appreciated. Photographs may not be taken in the church during the marriage service from the time the clergy enter and until they leave, with the following exceptions:
- One flash picture may be taken as the couple exits the Church into the narthex.
- A stationary video camera may be set up on the choir platform, and audio-taping is permitted, provided that no additional lighting or microphones are required and that set up is completed thirty (30) minutes prior to the service.
Photographs may, of course, be taken either before or after the wedding. The Altar Guild will be happy to provide assistance. If another wedding scheduled, the time allotted for photographs will have to be limited. If there is only one wedding, the time allowed for photographs is limited only by other plans associated with the wedding, such as the reception and the stamina of the wedding party. However, it is important to be aware of the following points:
Photography Sessions prior to the Wedding. It is an unreasonable hardship for the Altar Guild to arrive at the Church more than two hours before the wedding.
Photography Sessions following the Wedding. Extended photography sessions after the service can be difficult for the wedding guests waiting for a reception and for the Altar Guild and the sexton, who need to prepare the Church for Sunday. A workable solution is to complete all but one or two photos prior to the service.
The wedding party and photographers must vacate the church forty-five (45) minutes before the wedding is to begin.
Receptions
When available, the Parish Hall may be reserved for wedding receptions and should be requested at the same time as use of the church is arranged. A custodian's services are included in the reception fee. Because of the requirements for preparing for Sunday worship services, Church facilities are not available for receptions on Saturdays if the anticipated ending time is later than 9 p.m.
Dressing at the Church
Women in the wedding party may use Room 201 or the downstairs classroom as a dressing room for the wedding. The parish offices and reception area are not available. Other classrooms are available for the men in the wedding party to use. Smoking or drinking of alcoholic beverages in these areas is not permitted. Someone in the wedding party should remove all personal belongings from these rooms immediately after the wedding and assure that these areas are picked up and left as they were found. The parish cannot be responsible for lost or stolen items.Miscellaneous Concerns
The Guest Book. A guest book may be displayed and signed in the narthex before the wedding, but not afterward. However, it is strongly suggested, for expediency's sake, that this be done at the reception.
Rice, Confetti, Bird Seed & Bubbles. RicRice and confetti are not to be thrown at or on the wedding couple on church property. Birdseed and bubbles may be used ONLY out of doors.Traffic. If the size of the wedding indicates the need for a traffic officer, one may be obtained by calling the DeKalb County Police Department. As a rule, cash is expected for payment.
Alcohol Policy
Consumption of alcohol is not permitted on church property except at the reception in the Church's Parish Hall, and in accordance with diocesan policy. Hard liquor is never permitted. Non-alcoholic beverages in equal quantity and prominence must be offered if alcohol is served.Church Donations & Fees
It is expected that all fees will be paid when the marriage license is brought to the Church on the Sunday prior to the wedding They must be paid prior to the rehearsal. All expenses may be paid in a single check to Epiphany (excluding the rehearsal deposit).
Use of Church By members who have made a pledge........................................... $ 300.00
By nonmembers......................................................................... 800.00
Use of Parish Hall & Kitchen for Receptions By members who have made a pledge........................................... $ 500.00 By nonmembers......................................................................... 1,500.00
Music Organist & Choirmaster consultation & music.................................. $ 250.00 Choir Fee................................................................................... 250.00
Music for the Rehearsal............................................................... 150.00
Flowers (Epiphany supplies the altar flowers)................................... $ 250.00 Clergy Gift................................................................................ $ *
** As a sacrament of the church, marriage is offered by the priest without charge. In thanksgiving for their marriage, many couples make a contribution to the discretionary fund of the clergy person presiding at the services. This is optional, yet customary.
Founded in 1898, Epiphany is a parish in the Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta, The Right Reverend J. Neil Alexander, Bishop.
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